Truth

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My socks don’t match most of the time.

I wish my husband didn’t travel so much for work.

My 10 year old son will not say, “I love you,” but I know he does. Usually.

I have a difficult time being open with others about my life.

I know too many people impacted by some sort of addiction.

I feel worried I’m in denial of my own addiction, but I don’t know what it is.

I am the strong, reliable friend others lean on, but I’m not sure why.

Strangers and mere acquaintances share personal grievances with me frequently. Again, I’m not sure why.

I love my family and am terrified of something happening to them.

My socks don’t match most of the time.

Truth

What’s your truth?

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Home Is Where The Crazy Is

Home is

having a glass of wine with my husband

while all my chickadees are in their nests

sleeping upstairs.

Home is

chaotic, rushed mornings with all my favorite littles around the breakfast table

our golden retriever

circling around

lapping up our crumbly mess,

– and-

too much laundry to do,

toys scattered everywhere,

the sounds of my children

rough- housing,

arguing,

laughing, running, jumping,

Loving.

It’s crazy.

It’s Home.

I wonder – has home changed as you’ve gotten older?  What parts have remained the same?  I wonder what my children would say home is?  If you have children, what do you think they would say home is?  I may just ask mine!

A big thank you to Never Trust a Jellyfish for this inspiration and 1reason2write!

Ten Lessons from My Six Month Old

1.  Get enough sleep.  Napping is a good thing.

2.  Eat when you’re hungry.  Don’t when you’re not.

3.  When you gotta go, you gotta go….

4.  An upset tummy is nothing to be ashamed of.

5.  Sometimes a burp feels really good.

6.  Smile.  It will make everyone around you happier.

7.  Take time to observe the world.  It’s an amazing place.

8.  Feeling safe and cozy is important.

9.  If you’re not getting enough attention and love, cry out for more.

10.  The most important people in your life are your family.  Love each other often.

My six month old is now five years old, but what she taught me then holds true today.   So glad I stumbled upon this.  I think now I’ll go nap…

Running for Clarity

Found this in my posts from my old blog.  Some things never change:

This momma runs.  She runs her kids ragged when they deserve it.  She runs out her husband’s patience at times.  She runs her household, and she just runs.  Period.

You know how you have those really good runs and those really bad runs and you rejoice in the good, learn from the bad, and keep on running?  You know how your body can hurt and your mind can become exhausted?  You know how when you run you can find clarity in places or times you never thought you’d find it?  Well I do that all the time.  All of it.  Every. Single. Day.

Today I hit the wall on the run with my kids when they were all either arguing, rough-housing, “potty talking,” or being  beyond silly.   My body ached.  My mind ached.  My endurance wavered.

And then?  Then I found clarity.  I found clarity when we got to do Facetime with Daddy and the miles melted away.  I found clarity when the kids and I pretended we were the Croops (go see that movie) and made a “sleep pile” and giggled and giggled.  (Perhaps I’m the one who turned the sillies on too high).  I found clarity when my four and half year old crawled in my lap to tell me about the book his teacher read to him today at preschool – where the turtle raced the hare home.  “Guess who won, Mommy?  The turtle wears his home!  Get it?”  I found clarity when I woke my 3 and half year old from her nap and she wanted to stay in her bed with me and “puddle for just a little bit.”  I found clarity when I toe-tipped upstairs to read with and tuck in my nearly 9 year old  – only to find him fast asleep with his lamp still glowing and A Wrinkle in Time strewn open across his chest.

 I found clarity.

This momma runs.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Three Reasons to Be Better

She watches me put on makeup, and asks me, “Why?”  

“Oh, I don’t wear much.  I just want to cover up those spots from the sun.  Be sure and always wear sunscreen, Pumpkin.  The sun is bad for your skin.”

“But why?  Why are you covering up the brown patches, Mommy?  Why would you do that?  That’s part of your face.”

My five-year old reflects who I want to be – not the lady in the mirror covering her imperfections.

He snuggles into his bed and grabs my hand, pressing it on his face.  

“Mommy, I just want your hand. Ok?  I love your hand.”

He closes his eyes and breathes in comfort.  

His eyelashes.  His skin a fragile peach.  Soft.  Warm.  My hand on his cheek.

That’s all he needs.  That’s all I need.  Presence.  

My oldest son’s last paragraph in an essay for school:

“I think I get my persistence from my parents.  Right now they’re both training for half marathons.  My mom has done many before, but this is my dad’s first.  There’s no backing out now because they already signed up.  They’re hard to wear out unless it has to do with my brother and sister crying over something.  (HA! He’s right about that!) This will help impact my life because I will set goals and no one will stop me.  I will accomplish those goals, and then I will set more.  Thanks to my parents, I know I will have a happy life.”

Who knew?  They really do watch everything you do. But not when you think they’re watching.

Those three monkeys.  If I’m really being honest with myself, those three are my reasons for almost everything I do, think, say, believe.  Those three monkeys.  My kids.

Who knew motherhood would be this awe-and-ache inspiring?

I will not and do not strive for perfection or even greatness.  My three monkeys have taught me to strive for authenticity, simplicity, honesty, presence, (and yes – persistence) and love.

****I want to end my post there, but I do forget sometimes.  Is it just me, or are many of us accidentally falling into the search for perfection when our kids are teaching us everyday that’s not what they need?  Ironic really.  Our hunt for perfect parenting takes us further and further away from what it is our children really want us to be.  Are we able to slow down enough and be present?  How can we make this mindfulness a habit?